If you could go back and change one thing about your life, what would you choose and why? Do you think it would have a ripple effect on other moments and memories?

I’ve thought about this many times, and I’ve thought of many scenarios.

I think of what I’d do differently if I could go back with the knowledge I have now.. but what’s the fun in that? What makes a life interesting is the journey, the coming of age, and overcoming struggles. Bad experiences make good stories. If I went back in time with all of my current knowledge, I would have just focused on school, pursued hobbies like music and sports – but when I think about those hobbies in that context – I think about how that would get me more attention. I love attention. Basically I would go back to receive more attention. What does that say about myself? As a child/teenager did I feel like I was lacking attention? Why did I want it so bad? I had low self-esteem and because of that I did not give myself sufficient positive affirmation and attention. I craved to be validated but I did not even validate myself. I lacked confidence and conviction in my values as an adolescent. Now I have confidence and self-validation, I’ve let go of those past desires. I don’t think about what I would do differently if I could go back anymore. I’m focused on the present and planning for the future. I remember the lessons I’ve learned from the past.

So to my 17 year old self – honestly – you’re doing well. Just keep believing in yourself and continually strive to be a good person. Be open to yourself and communicate and advocate for yourself. Be compassionate. Everyone has their struggles. With that, be compassionate to yourself. You are separate from your ego. You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness of them.